Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
