So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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