Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
