My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
