you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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