Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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