My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
