Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
