I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
