she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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