Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
