I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
