I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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