After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
