You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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