I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
