Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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