Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
