nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
