okay pat passed out under dana's car
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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