i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Acid is not a monday night drug
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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