Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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