Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
