when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
