Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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