He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
