Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
