My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
