sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
