If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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