Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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