Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
