also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
