he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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