I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
