i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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