no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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