Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
