You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize