You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
soo... how was my night?
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