My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
