you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
