Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
