At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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