Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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