I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
