I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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