she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
this hospital has no fireball
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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