I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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