Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
be right there i have to get my cape
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
