My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
