So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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