I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
