no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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