Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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