if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
