ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do vagina's smell?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
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I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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