My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
