Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize