oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
