so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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