did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
