508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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