it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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