get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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