I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
