now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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